


I'll hurt you with love

by ProfessorPlum



Series: Hope for the hoplesss [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Jim is mean, M/M, Sex, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:44:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorPlum/pseuds/ProfessorPlum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim wears different clothes now. He wears tank tops that show his skinny arms when he takes his coat off and jeans that are too tight. I don't tell Jim that mum would never want him wearing those clothes but to look presentable I wear a button down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll hurt you with love

We are sixteen when our mum dies.   
  
  
She dies in the hospital and I cry a lot when someone comes to tell us. Jim cries too but all I see are the small tears that run down his face when he is sitting next to the window. He says we're going to have to move now, that we won't be allowed to stay in this house all alone. That makes me cry more and Jim hugs me. He always hugs me when I cry.   
  
  
Mum's funeral is held in March. It's nice and unusually warm and it reminds me of her. People stand in a half circle around her grave as we listen to a man talk about her who's never even met her before. Some people cry including me but Jim doesn't, he just says that funerals are boring. People put flowers on the dirt where a few meters bellow is our mother. I put roses because I think they smell nice like her, and Jim just watches. Everyone keeps saying they are sorry for our loss but we didn’t lose her, she just dies. When we are done someone from our church tells us that they will always be there for us but we’ve never even talked to her before.   
  
  
The plan is we are going to live with our uncle in London. I don't want to move to England but Jim says its bigger and better then Ireland. We've only ever seen our uncle once at Christmas when we were seven. He has a lot of money but never spends it on anything other than alcohol. I don't remember him very well but Jim says he makes a lot of stupid jokes and he is ashamed to be named after the man.   
  
   
We get to take a plane to London, all our stuff is in suitcases and bags. Clothes, books, anything we want to keep. We have never been on a plane before and I can tell Jim is excited to be flying. I am a little nervous but Jim holds my hand and kisses me on the cheek. I'm just glad he doesn't kiss my lips in public. Since we had sex Jim has kept a little more distance that I am more then happy with maintaining.   
   
  
The ride to Heathrow airport is fun; we play games on paper when Jim is not distracted by looking out the window. All we can see is clouds for the most part but Jim loves it. I read my book of poems and write one of my own.  
   
   
When we are finally about to land and I make a small noise of discomfort concerning our dissent, Jim leans over and kisses me on the lips. It is a reassuring kiss and one I gladly take so I can forget about falling lower and lower. When we land Jim takes my hand as we are herded out of the plan by the people around us. We have only enough time to grab our carry-on bags before we are pushed with the rest of people out to the airport.   
  
  
Everything look's clean but Jim tells me it's a lie and not to touch anything unless I want to get sick. He tells me that he's sure it could be a metaphor for something though he can't think what. We make our way out where Uncle James is supposed to be waiting for us. At first we think he must have forgotten but then we hear someone shout, "Jimmy! Richard!" And we both see him, standing by a car that looks both old and dusty. Like uncle.  
  
  
We walk to where our uncle is standing and he gives us a sad smile. "Hey, sorry to hear what happened with your mum." You would think with it being his sister he would be a little more choked up. He opened the car door for us and we climb in with our bags. "I'm having the rest of your stuff delivered to the flat alright?" he asks and both of us nod. "I haven't seen you guys-what? Since you were thirteen?"  
  
  
"Seven," Jim corrects him but uncle pretends not to notice that Jim even said anything. Uncle talks more and tells us that we can go to school next month even though the school year is almost over. We don't listen much as he talks and drives and when we get to the house the only thing we hear him say is that our rooms are up stairs.   
  
  
He unlocks the door to the old looking flat and I remember what Jim said about him only spending money on alcohol. We have our own bedrooms but mine feels cold and empty like how I felt inside after mum died. I put my things down on the boring looking bed and listen to it creek as my bag lands in the middle of the sheets. I walk across the hall where Jim is sitting on his own creaky bed looking out the window. "This place is kinda creepy," I say in a small voice as I make my way over and sit down next to him.   
  
  
"I agree." He looks over at me with a small smile and leans closer to kiss me. I kiss back because I know it will make him happy. "But don't worry. It'll be great. A new school, new friends..."  
  
  
That night after our dinner of macaroni and cheese because uncle needs to go shopping, me and Jim retire to bed. I follow Jim to his because I don't want to be alone in mine. We stay up with our torches on under the blankets and we tell stories before falling asleep.  
  
  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
School is boring. I don't have very many friends but I tell myself not to worry since it is only April and I still have two months before its summer holiday. Jim has returned to his schedule of sneaking out most nights but now I hardly sleep those nights since the flat creeks on its own. I ask Jim to stay home but he tells me that he's late. I don't know what he could be late for.   
  
  
Uncle lets be buy books to read and I can visit the library on the weekends. I feel very alone until one night when I am in my room reading. Jim is wearing is coat and it's getting darker out. The clouds are a pretty pink that looks like candy floss against the blue sky. "Hay, wanna come with me?" He asks.   
  
  
"Come-come with you?" I repeat like a parrot.   
  
  
"Yeah, I'm going to hang out with a friend." I think this might be a trick because Jim has never had friends before but I shrug before getting up and setting my book down on the creaky bed.   
  
  
Jim wears different clothes now. He wears tank tops that show his skinny arms when he takes his coat off and jeans that are too tight. I don't tell Jim that mum would never want him wearing those clothes but to look presentable I wear a button down. I am still taller because Jim hasn't grown and I'm taller than uncle too. I have thinned out which I think Jim must like because we don't eat much when uncle forgets to go shopping.   
  
  
We walk out the flat and down the street until we get to a busy road and Jim can get a cab. “Where did you get the money?" I ask because Jim can pay for this cab.  
   
  
"I nicked it. You know uncle keeps all his money hidden. I found a few of his stashes the greedy bastard." Jim laughs and I nod though I know stealing is a sin. We drive a long ways, until we aren't on the busy streets anymore. Jim pays a lot of quid to come this far but he hops out and pays. I follow Jim and I don't know what we could possibly be doing here when I see a boy sitting on the dirty ground throwing rocks. He jumps up when he sees us, patting his arse clean of dust.  
  
  
"Hey Jim and... other Jim?" He asks cocking his head to the side as he looks at us. He has blond hair and is a lot taller than even I am when he stands.   
  
  
Jim rolls his eyes with a smile. "I told you I had a brother. His name's Richard."  
  
  
"Then I wasn't listening," the boy says before pulling Jim roughly closer to him and kissing him. Jim pulls away.   
  
  
"What the fuck did I tell you before? You can't just snog me whenever you want!"   
  
  
Sebastian holds up his hands in mock surrender. "Yeah, yeah. I'm Sebastian," he holds out a hand to me but I don't take it. Jim kissed him, they kissed, how long has this been going on? What if they've had sex. Sebastian is trying to steal Jim away from me. "Kinda shy, huh?" He asks with a smile. I have to admit he is very beautiful. I feel bad for wanting to know what he looks like without a shirt on, I'm sure he has a very impressive chest. I bit my lip trying not think those sinful thoughts. It isn't natural.   
  
  
"I've never seen you at school," I say, crossing my arms. Jim answers for him.   
  
  
"Sebastian is nineteen, he doesn't go to school." Sebastian nods and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, put's it between his lips and lights it. I want to run away. This is very bad, I shouldn't even be here. Neither should Jim. "So are we going to go to your house or what?" Jim asks.   
  
  
"Yeah, follow me. You too Richie," no one calls me Richie except Jim. I follow them and they are holding hands like a couple. I hope they're not but it makes me mad to think about. Jim is my brother, he's only allowed to kiss me and hold my hand. I kick rocks and wave the smoke away from my face  that is drifting back from the cigarette. I walk beside Jim so I'm not tempted to watch Sebastian's arse as he walks.   
  
  
His house is big, though it looks like no one has taken care of it. There are no neighbors for a long way off and the grass around the house is yellow and dead looking. It turns out Sebastian's mum died when he was just a kid and his dad drinks even more then Jim and I's uncle. "We can go to my room, dad won't be home for a while," he says. "Probably," Sebastian finishes and flicks the cigarette onto the grass were I'm sure it will catch fire.  
  
  
When we get up to his room Sebastian sits down on his bed and Jim sits with him and they kiss. "Why'd you bring him?" Sebastian asks and I pretend I don't hear him talking about me.   
  
  
"He looked bored," Jim answered and I look out the window so I don't have to watch them snogging.   
  
  
"I thought you were going to let me fuck you."  
  
  
"Something like that." And then I hear my name being called. "Richie, come here." I do as Jim tells me and sit down on the bed so that Jim is in the middle of me and Sebastian. "Kiss me," Jim orders. I don't want to, I don't want Sebastian to see so I go to kiss Jim on the cheek. Jim turns my head so our lips meet instead. I try to pull back put Jim pushes me down on the bed and rubs my cock through my trousers. I can't help but get aroused at the contact but it's gone all to soon and my cheeks are flushed as I sit back up and try to hide my hard-on.   
  
  
"You're fucked up Jim," Sebastian says though I know he's hiding a smile by the tone of his voice. "You're brother too. You just a whole fucked up family."   
  
  
"Oh don't pretend you don't love it, Seb." _Seb_ grins and Jim kisses him again. I feel used. "Now your turn Richie. You both have a hard on, now kiss Sebastian for me." I don't.   
  
  
"Jim, honestly-" Sebastian says but Jim cuts him off.   
  
  
"Do it Richard." I want to do it. I want to snog Sebastian because the thought is cock-hardening itself. I get up and walk to the other side of Sebastian, sit down, and swallow before leaning in. I close my eyes as we kiss, he tastes like smoke which almost makes me pull away but he's holding onto my shit, keeping me from moving back.  When he does let go I pull away. Jim claps his hand together. "Oh yes, I've made up my mind. Sebastian. You're going to fuck Richard and I'm going to watch."  
  
  
"Oh come on magpie, I thought it was going to be the two of us tonight," Sebastian whines.   
  
  
"Please 'Bastian, do it for me?" Jim asks in a very annoying voice.  
  
  
Sebastian turns to look at me again. "I dunno Richie. What do you think?" I think no. I can't say no to Jim though. He will get mad at me. He will leave me all alone in the big creaky flat if I say no. He is the only person who stays. So I nod.  "Really?" Sebastian takes off his shirt and I don't stop my eyes from wandering down to his tanned chest. "You got him wrapped around your finger don't you Jimmy boy? Ever done this before Richie?" He asks me.   
  
  
"Yes..." I mutter truthfully. Jim get's up and takes a bottle out of the bedside table, returning to lean his back against the head bored.   
  
  
"Fucked him myself about seven months ago," Jim said.   
  
  
"Like I said-" Sebastian unbuttons his jeans and slips them off. "-Fucked up."  I crawl on my hands and knees over the sheets to sit by Jim.  
  
  
"Richie, take off your cloths," Jim says.   
  
  
I do as I'm told but say in a quiet voice. "Please Jim. I don't want to. It's a sin."  
  
  
"Honestly, it's not a sin to have sex with anyone. Or want to have sex with anyone. Now take off your pants." I'm ashamed of my hard-on but Sebastian is naked now and his body captivates me. I want to run my hands over his skin, he is strong and scared and I know I'm staring.   
  
  
"Two queer kinds, huh?" I lay my head on Jim's lap as Sebastian speaks.  "You sure that's not what killed your mum?"  
  
  
"She never knew, and besides, Richard goes for girls too."  
  
  
"Same here, Richie." He takes the bottle of lubricant from Jim's hand and puts some on his fingers before wrapping his hand around my cock and stroking, still looking at Jim.  I gasp though I'm pretty ignored.   
  
  
"I know. You both disgust me," Jim says petting my hair. Sebastian lifts my legs over his hips before pressing two fingers in my arse. I whimper because I remember Jim doing it too me and I shut my eyes. I try to imaging it's Jim again as Sebatsian adds another finger and pushes them farther into me. Suddenly I yelp as he hits something wonderful inside me. It feels like pleasure and pain at the same time. I've never felt it before.   
  
  
"You like that?" Sebastian asks and I nod, trying to imagine it's Jim's voice.   
  
  
"I'm getting bored watching you finger him," Jim's voice says and then regrettably all the fingers are removed and I feel something much bigger pushing into my arse, bigger then Jim's cock.   
  
  
"Please," I say. "I can't-I can't."  But Jim only pets my hair and tells me to shush. I hear Sebastian moan deeply. I open my eyes to see that they are kissing above me and I let out a dry sob to remind them that I am still here in pain. They don't stop snogging but Sebastian reaches down and takes my cock in his hand as he starts to stroke and move his hips.   
  
  
I let out whimpers but once Sebastian starts moving faster he hits the most fantastic spot again that makes me shiver. "Y-yes." I shudder as the pleasure shoots through my body.   
  
  
"I think he likes it.." Jim isn't talking to me though, just about me.   
  
  
"He's not so bad either," Sebastian says and his voice sounds breathless. Jim is still petting my hair and Sebastian's hand is still gripping my cock and all too soon I am cumming and it's the best feeling I've ever felt because Sebastian is still ridding me through it.   
  
  
"S-stop," I say when it get's too much and Sebastian does and pulls away too quickly. Sebastian's bed is big enough that we can all three lay side by side pretty comfortably.   
  
  
"God he's as bad as you are Jim, I'm so fucking hard."  
  
  
Jim moves my head off his lap and sits next to Sebastian. "Wank yourself off, I'll watch," Jim says. I don't watch though, and all I here is soft grunts from Sebastian and then Jim's voice speaking nice things to him. I'm very tired and I just want to go to sleep. Sebastian lays beside me and I assume Jim lays beside him and they are talking but I don't really listen to what they're saying because next minute someone is pulling the blanket over me and that's when I fall asleep.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To eventually be continued...  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let's hope I can keep this going I seem to be on a roll so far. Ideas never hurt anyone (though Robert Oppenheimer would beg to differ) so if you have anything you'd like to see don't hesitate to comment.


End file.
